I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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