All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
