I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
