Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
