You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
