you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
