oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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