he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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