? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
