I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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