so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
