Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He has the fingertips of a God
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