Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
