Tell her she can't have a vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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