It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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