But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
