I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize