Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
