Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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