I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Bring me that man meat
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
