i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
