Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
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