Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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