You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
