so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i now understand why vodka
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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