Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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