Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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