i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
And then my night got REAL pukey
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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