Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
