They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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