Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
