they need to just BURY HIM!
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
