i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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