my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
