yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
