Little spoons don't ask big questions
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
