So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
