Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
