he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
