guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize