Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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