i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize