porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
