You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
50% drunk capacity currently
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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