He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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