You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
