My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
