So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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