Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You are a genius and a whore.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
