please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
