every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
