No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
