Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
