i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
