I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
