He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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