I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
