One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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