You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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