when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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