I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
