this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
