I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
